A Bedtime Story
by queen nia
Summary: Somewhere, in a darkened apartment bedroom, a cellphone sounds...


**Author's Note: Hikaru's words are in regular text and Haruhi's words are in italics just so you can follow who-is-who, ok? If you like it and can spare a word or two of appreciation, that would be awesomesauce!**

A Bedtime Story

by Queen Nia

Setting: A darkened bedroom somewhere in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

…K-pop song playing softly from a cellphone…open line…

Hikaru: "Hey."

_Haruhi: "Hey."_

"You awake?"

_"I am now."_

"Sorry."

_"What's wrong, Hikaru?"_

"Nothin'."

_"Can't sleep?"_

"That would be an understatement."

_"If you studied a little every day, you wouldn't have to worry about exams, you know?"_

"Yeah, yeah. But I like the thrill of the unknown. You know that."

_"Uh-huh. So you're awake and you figured you'd like some company."_

"Yours, preferably."

_"It's one a.m."_

"I'm aware of the time, Haruhi; but I miss you."

_"I'll see you in the morning."_

"Too long to wait."

_"You really can be sweet, sometimes."_

"I try."

_"And sometimes, you can be a real pain in the ass."_

"Like I said, I try."

_"What's keeping you awake? Worried about mid-terms?"_

"Is that the reason for my insomnia?"

_"Even you know that, Mr. Class 3A by the skin of his perfectly straight teeth who still got into Harvard."_

"And here I thought it was late-night pizza."

_"Eating spicy or heavy foods at a late hour can keep you awake, but I'm betting on my former hypothesis."_

"And, Fujioka-san, you'd be right."

_"So..."_

"Your buttons."

_"What?"_

"Sew your buttons."

_"What are you talking about?"_

"Didn't you ever hear that phrase?"

_"Sew your buttons? Nope. Must be some new lingo all the cool kids are using."_

"My Literature prof says it all the time. It's an American-ism."

_...giggles... "Excuse me, but I never heard that particular phrase before."_

"Okay, okay. Quit already."

_"Don't sulk."_

"I'm not sulking."

_"Of course you are. So what's on your mind, Hika?"_

"You. I was gonna stand outside and throw rocks at your window."

_"That is so-o high school and we're now in college."_

"But I didn't, so I guess I'm maturing."

_"Though it isn't as if you haven't done it before."_

"Matured or throw rocks at your window?"

_"Come by in the middle of the night. I can recall more than one 'I need you now' visit at odd hours."_

"I really put you through Hell, don't I?"

_"Do you believe in Hell?"_

"I'd say it's within the realm of possibility."

_"And Heaven?"_

"Not so sure."

_"So you're willing to believe that there's a final destination for those who do evil, but not good?"_

"Evil should have a final destination, an end. But good? We need to keep that around... Recycled."

_"Recycled?"_

"Reincarnation, transmigration of the soul, rebirth of the consciousness into a new form."

_"I suppose it's possible."_

"Wait. Let me write this down. The ever-practical Haruhi Fujioka is admitting that there may be more to life than meets the eye."

_"I'm more open-minded than you think."_

"Point taken. Besides, I like to think all that Haruhi-niceness will always be around."

_"You're nice, too."_

"Good, maybe. But nice?"

_"I've seen you do volunteer work at the shelter. You're very gentle."_

"That's just being a human being and only because you insist that I do it to become, as you say, a more rounded individual. But nice? No way."

_"Why do say that?"_

"Because I know me and you don't."

_"I think I know you, Hikaru."_

"You know pieces of me - not the whole me."

_"I know you."_

"You don't know what you're saying. I'm a guy, remember?"

_"And?"_

"We're a disgusting lot."

_"I used to be a member of the Host Club, remember? Though Mori and Honey were always respectful."_

"Not the others?"

_"Tamaki was and still is a bit flaky, and Kyoya was and still is a bit intimidating._

"What about Kaoru?"

_"He's a little more focused than you, but just as naughty."_

"Are you saying you like that or not?"

_"Maybe. Seems like you guys had way more fun than I did in high school."_

"Regrets?"

_"No, but sometimes I wish I'd been a little - less - good."_

"I think I like the sound of that."

_"Thought you might."_

"So, tell me, what would you have done that you _didn't_ do as a high school girl?"

_"High school? Ummmm, let's see..."_

"And no namby-pamby crap like cheat on an exam. I want juicy."

_"Juicy?"_

"Yeah, good detailed stuff, Haruhi."

_"Hikaru-"_

"C'mon. Humor me."

_"Well... I might have taken advantage of having six gorgeous boys at my beck and call."_

"You're not saying what I think you're saying, are you?"

_"What do you think I'm saying?"_

"Sex."

_"Ah. Well, I still wouldn't have gone all the way back then. High school boys are just too... too..."_

"Quick?"

_"That's one way of putting it. But there's lots of other things I might have tried."_

"Y'know, I don't know if I want to hear about this, after all."

_"Why not?"_

"I think I'm jealous."

_"I didn't do anything, now did I? Besides, you were my first."  
_

"Yeah, but..."

_"And the only one with privileges."_

"And it's a wonderful privilege."

_"Hikaru-"_

"Yeah?"

_"I wish you were here."_

"Me, too."

_"Talk to me."_

"I am."

_"No. __Talk__ to me."_

"Are you asking...?"

_"Uh-huh. And no namby-pamby crap. I want juicy."_

"So... What are you wearing?"

_"Pajamas."_

"The blue ones?"

_"Red."_

"With the Chinese things on them?"

_"They're called glyphs."_

"Don't go technical on me now."

_"You were saying..."_

"They're the silk ones, aren't they?"

_"Satin."_

"Yeah, and the fabric is cool and slippery on your skin."

_"Mmmm."_

"Touch the fabric."

_"Where?"_

"Anywhere you like. Then tell me where your hand is."

_"Okay... Over my heart."_

"Playing coy, huh? Okay. Hand over your heart. I like that and the morsel that sits just below."

_"Now what?"_

"Start unbuttoning. And take it - slow."

_"Hang on, Hitachiin-sensei. One... at... a... time. Hika?"_

"Right here."

_"What next?"_

"Let's say you slip off the bottoms."

_"Hmph. …rustle… Oooh, that's better."_

"It is?"

_"Definitely. You okay?"_

"Huh?"

_"You sound odd."_

"Just letting my memory fill in the blanks."

_"And your memory would be reminding you of what, exactly?"_

"You. Me. Your naked curves warm against me in all the right places."

_"That sounds nice."_

"Can you feel me there?"

_"Yesss."_

"Where do you want my hands?"

_"Wherever you want them."_

"You're awfully non-specific."

_"I don't want to do this."_

"Wha-?"

_"It's just..."_

"This was _your_ idea."

_"I don't care. Turn off the phone and get in here, now."_

…click…rustling bedcovers…

"So much for telephone sex, Haruhi."

_"It was just an idea."_

"Knew you couldn't last."

_"Oh, be quiet and kiss me."_

"Now you're talking."

End - A Bedtime Story - by Queen Nia


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